Last month, I had the chance to go to China for the first time to meet my partner's extended family (see my last post).
Like all my travels, I experienced the discomfort of culture shock. There were the simple things (washing all utensils in hot tea), the irritating things (people who blatantly disregarded the sanctity of waiting in a line), and the straight-up horrifying things (old women treating train employees like the scum of the earth). It's funny how at home, we develop a capacity to avert our eyes from these things, and then when we go to an unfamiliar place, they are so stark it's like a slap across the face.
As a traveler, one can find a small comfort in the fact that they can enjoy all the "fun parts" of a place without truly having to confront the "not-so-fun" parts, and then leave it all behind to go home. As a frequent traveler myself - *UNPOPULAR OPINION* I really don't like traveling at all - these aspects of my time in China are not what truly SHOOK me, per se.
What shook me was the difference I saw in my partner in a Chinese cultural context. He has always been a very present, emotionally available person. There is never a moment that I feel we aren't there for each other. In China, I felt very suddenly that he was never really "there." I would be in a room filled with his family, unable to communicate with anybody. I'd look around, and he was nowhere to be found. I'd be talking to him as we traveled around, and then slowly realize that he wasn't listening. Even after that big moment that I met his grandmother, he seemed to appear for a brief moment, and then said he had to go out.
For me, home is quite literally where the heart is, and my heart is very much with my partner. I felt displaced, figuratively as well as literally. At one point, the two of us had to sit down and discuss it.
Find out what we talked about in my next blog post! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.
Like all my travels, I experienced the discomfort of culture shock. There were the simple things (washing all utensils in hot tea), the irritating things (people who blatantly disregarded the sanctity of waiting in a line), and the straight-up horrifying things (old women treating train employees like the scum of the earth). It's funny how at home, we develop a capacity to avert our eyes from these things, and then when we go to an unfamiliar place, they are so stark it's like a slap across the face.
As a traveler, one can find a small comfort in the fact that they can enjoy all the "fun parts" of a place without truly having to confront the "not-so-fun" parts, and then leave it all behind to go home. As a frequent traveler myself - *UNPOPULAR OPINION* I really don't like traveling at all - these aspects of my time in China are not what truly SHOOK me, per se.
What shook me was the difference I saw in my partner in a Chinese cultural context. He has always been a very present, emotionally available person. There is never a moment that I feel we aren't there for each other. In China, I felt very suddenly that he was never really "there." I would be in a room filled with his family, unable to communicate with anybody. I'd look around, and he was nowhere to be found. I'd be talking to him as we traveled around, and then slowly realize that he wasn't listening. Even after that big moment that I met his grandmother, he seemed to appear for a brief moment, and then said he had to go out.
For me, home is quite literally where the heart is, and my heart is very much with my partner. I felt displaced, figuratively as well as literally. At one point, the two of us had to sit down and discuss it.
Find out what we talked about in my next blog post! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.
Best,
Mika